love from harri

sweet caroline

2009-10-19T11:17:00.006-04:00

{Samuel Harrison, playing in Annie's NC backyard, November 2008}

I am cold. It is cold up here in the mountains of North Carolina. I am swathed in layers of soft grey things. They help me feel less cold. I love grey. Somehow grey things feel warmer than other colors.

I don't think I have much to say to you today. It's one of those quiet days. I read this in the early hours of the morning. The last two statements helped quell my disquietude. After, I made a list of all the mercies I have recieved since I can remember. I filled the backs of two very long Walmart receipts. And I hadn't even really begun. And I learned, again, today, that we are never alone. Even when it feels cold all over. And to my families near and far, let me say how deeply I love you. I love you. I love you.

{Nora, Annie, and MaryJoy Ballantyne, July 2008 on the occasion of Hannah Hale Hammond's baptism.}

{Samuel & Jacob Hammond, Halloween 2008}

{Side note: I have a dream of being Thing One and Thing Two with A.

I have a feeling it will happen.

And then I can add that to the back of my Walmart receipt.}

And oh! The sunshine just came out. I think I'll go make myself a pile of leaves in the middle of the sunny yard and lay in it for a while. xoxo.

A. passed the bar exam today.

2009-10-15T20:09:00.001-04:00

We are as happy as we can.

my history of loving the rainbow

2009-10-14T20:53:00.005-04:00

Today, a friend sent me some cheerful October DIY-er links. I perused them during The Sam's nap time, and stumbed on THIS: my very vision for Samuel's room, in the uber-colorful flesh. It was so weird to see someone else steal (OK, fine: borrow) my artistic vision right out of my brain, down to the exact paint color (B. Moore, Apple Green).

Speaking of bright green, that room reminds me of one of the very nice things A. did for me some years ago. Go here to read how he forgoed (forwent?) study time during his first year of law school to do something nice for me.

Today, I painted my wall this color:It's called "Vintage Charm" by Benjamin Moore. Unfortunately, I lack the fantastic epoxy drip painting to give it just a bit of edgi-ness. Though I have had more than one dream (literally, like, when I was sleeping) over the last six months as to how I could exactly re-create this in acrylics. Anyway, about my wall. I haven't decided if I LOVE it yet. Daylight will tell me that. I do have faith, though. (UPDATE: Yet another miracle of my faith this week:::I love it. Though having that piece finished does make me ache to finish the rest of the room. Patience, Nora, patience.) Especially when I mask the yellow on the other three walls. Right now my LR looks just a little bit like a screwed up color wheel. But only for a few more months.

Tomorrow I am off to North Carolina to vegetate with my sister Annie and her empty house. Her husband and five young lovelies are crashing at my house in Portsmouth for the weekend. They are traveling up to see the air show. And I will be travelling down for some R & R. Annie and I are going to the pound store, where you buy clothes by the pound for dirt cheap. Oh yeah, baby. Also tomorrow: A. finds out if he passed the bar exam. And I'm leaving tomorrow. Bad timing? Maybe. But I have every faith that he passed. And we all know what faith can do.

Hugs, love, and more hugs to you on this very rainy day.

a little sunshine came today

2009-10-13T20:13:00.005-04:00

All my clothes have memories. In the spirit of embracing recent life changing events, I needed something safe, void of memory, some gorgeous textiles to drape over my tearful body and fill with new memories, new hopes, new faith. And look gorgeous at the same time.

Tonight A. {formerly Sir Harri} said:
"You have looked extra beautiful lately." And I said, "Yeah, I know. I did it on purpose, mostly to keep myself together. But also to see if you would notice." He did.

Those are my yellow tights. They are very, very yellow. Mustard is definitely not my color. But I love them anyway.

Today at the zoo a boy said, "Mom, why does that lady have yellow legs?" I didn't hear what his mother said back, but I imagined it was something like, "Because, honey, some people think they look good in silly things like that." (She was wearing an oversize t-shirt and a visor.) Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with oversize t-shirts or visors, (or is there?) but I bet if she put on a pair of yellow tights, she would feel like a million bucks. Maybe they are just a little silly, and maybe I do look like big bird, but I know I did make them look good. Damn good. Mmmm-hmmm.

This is my kitchen floor. It is a big part of my life. I thought you should all become acquainted with my rusty looking kitchen floor. I mop it at least ten times a day, to keep it pristine. I hate the feeling of wee gritties under my feet as I walk across floors: it's one of those few cleanliness things that I just cannot bear. If I have a clean kitchen floor, life is easier. Pain is less daunting. So if you ever come and visit, you can easily remove your sox and shoes and prance beautifully, sans nitty gritties or dried-up- day-old-pasta, across my kitchen floor.

I first learned that I hated dirt on kitchen floors when I was about 14 and was visiting my sister Catherine in Palo Alto. {I have since spent at least a few hundred glorious hours in my adult life under her tender loving care whilst visiting her home. But that deserves another post entirely.} Her husband, Andy, was making rice in the kitchen. He is very neat, and never would drop rice on the floor. Ever. But I think this time he had dropped a few grains. {It was probably the last time he ever did.} And Cath bent over and wiped them up. {Today, about eleven years later, she wouldn't do this either. She is much too wise to worry about just a few grains of rice.} And I remember thinking, "Yes, I am so glad she wiped that up because it would have really bothered me to walk over that spilled rice." And so my love of clean, crumb-less kitchen floors was born.

This is my green hand. (See all the wrinkles? That is me. I love the creases in my hands. And how funny that no one condems the wrinkles on our hands.) Two nights ago, in an attempt to reawaken myself to the fulfillment of creating, I recovered a failed canvas. I wanted to make a goldfish painting, similar to this one, to add to the collection I made for Samuel's room. I squirted blue, white, green, purple, red, gray paint and swiped it around with my brush, then my fingers, then I used the brush on my whole arm. I covered my fingernails, the scar I made on my index finger when I was slicing that bagel ten years ago. I laughed like the Wicked Witch of the West. Because sometimes you have to go just a little crazy to get a little sunshine.

SO. What is all this gibberish about floors, rice, freaky tights and green paint? It is this, my friends: I know I will be alright. Today was a good day. Yesterday, not so much. But today had some rather significant rays of sunshine. (And I don't just mean the very cheerful brightness of my very yellow tights.) I say to those in crisis, to those just trying to make it through today (because that is indeed a grand accomplishment, no matter what your circumstance):
Find your yellow tights. Wear them with gusto, and pride. They will bring you courage. Keep your floors clean. Wipe them just a little every day; that will keep the mess at bay; you will not get overwhelmed. And, at the end of the day, (if you are not too tired), make a place to be yourself. Read, sing, find silence, pray, cook, bathe, sleep, talk. Laugh like your favorite witch. Or go ahead and paint your arm green. It might be just the thing. To bring you sunshine, sanity, or solace. Because joy is our job.

I love you all, forever. And thank you for loving me back.

hope

2009-10-10T11:38:00.005-04:00

A little hope can be hard to find.

I am broken this week, but a part of me is hanging on. Hanging on to my daily routine, to the gospel of Jesus Christ, to the love inside. I dive into laundry with vigor and enthusiasm. I relish keeping busy with the dishes. I focus on the sizzling sound the pancakes make when they hit the iron griddle every morning at ten o'clock a.m., when I make The Sam an enormous brunch. I think about the muscle names in my body as I bend over to pick up toys. I look forward to spending five minutes sorting the mail.

Anything to keep me away from the aches inside.

I am happy to scrub my kitchen floor, to wring the hot rag out and inhale the smell of castile soap. I love the lift of my comforter as I snap it evenly over the bed, ready to climb in for another night tonight. I think next I will clean out my car, finally get rid of all that dog hair from the other owner. I blog. Because everyone needs to blog when life gets really, really hard.

Anything to keep me focused on putting one day after another.

I read my scriptures with fervor. I read about Alma, Moroni, Nephi. I read how faith moved mountains, how it makes an anchor for our souls. How faith brings hope and the blessing of love, of charity, of purity of soul. How we can be sanctified and purified with the trials we are asked to bear, because Jesus loves us. I read about the love of God for me, about the power of Jesus Christ.

I feel comfort for a small moment, so I keep reading. I read the words of Jesus: "And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning." And I feel hope begin to sing, slowly. I pray for strength, for courage, for humility to accept this suffering and to do the will of my Father. I do this, and hope's song gets just a little louder. But only just.

I must continue in this way. Expending energy on the small pieces that make up the picture of my life. Focusing on the love that is there, that has always been inside of me. It is waiting to get out. This love will conquer my parts that are shrouded with fear and sorrow. I do know this. Even when I feel I do not know very much, I do know this: that I can have faith in the power of my Lord to carry me and those I love. He calmed the storm in Galilee with a raised hand. He can calm my storm, and your storms. I must continue in this way of faith. And eventually the storm will calm, submissing to the pure voice of hope.

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul.

And sings the tune

Without the words, and never stops at all.

{Emily Dickinson}

love for a brighter tomorrow for you and me and all,

harri

no cheer today

2009-09-25T12:24:00.002-04:00

On Wednesday, horror and tragedy came careening through my front door.

It hasn't left. I am not sure that it will, anytime soon. This story is about my life as a teenager. I spent nearly every afternoon in middle and high school in this woman's house. And now she is dead.

Her daughter Emily is one of my closest and dearest friends, even though we haven't spoken in about a year. Emily is that kind of friend. I don't need to talk to her to be her friend. And time doesn't affect our relationship. We are always together, even when we're not. I am shattered for her. And her brothers. And her dad, too.

I have never felt so wierd, so utterly horrible. It almost feels like I'm getting erased. So it goes, as this horror settles itself into my couch, my bed, my kitchen sink, my very skin. Horror, horror, go away.

and....we're back. and bigger than ever.

2009-09-17T12:17:00.003-04:00

These are the faces that I ended my day with yesterday. My favorite is definitely the one up top. But the hat down below I think is pretty swanky. I just discovered Photobucket, hence the enormous full size pictures. { My dear Elizabeth, yours look nicely big but so much less intimidating--care to share? And I miss you terribly, am desperate to chat.} You too, Mrs. Seeley.

I may or may not have some cool news for you TV watchers out there in the next few days. And no, I'm not pregnant. What would that have to do with TV anyway?

I have been making these cookies way too often lately. But that's ok, because I'm making some more today, plus a peaches and cream tart for a gathering in Williamsburg tonight. I miss that place, those women, the memories we made there.

The Sam and I went to the zoo this week. The gardens were beautiful, and Sam couldn't get enough of those yellow flowers. Almonds and fruit leather just weren't doing it for him, I guess. We ended the trip with The Sam running around almost naked in the fountains by the entrance. (Do they count as a 'sprayground'? Other kids were doing it, so hopefully....yes?)

Thanks to all who have sent warm wishes as we've ensconced ourselves into our new place. More rain, sunshine, love and kisses to come--
from harri

an unedited morning conversation with my husband about an exciting thing that happened to us this week.

2009-08-21T12:10:00.006-04:00

me: So how did it go?

Sir Harri: Great

We need to remember to add it to our insurance

S Sent at 11:38 AM on Friday

Sir Harri: We should buy the penske

and set it up as our house

I can become a carpenter

and our children can live in the cab

What do you think?

Sent at 11:39 AM on Friday

me: holy cannolies sorry

hold on

let me go up and read.

GREAT?

that's all you can give me of the sordid details of the transaction?

hmm. come on babe, i think i need just a little bit more here.

Sir Harri: Jaron, the father, arrived at 9:25

he was my height with brown skin, gray hair and a healthy, worker's body

He opened the door for me and took me into the office

he commented that it had been very hot and the ac was broken

me: awesome, awesome. glued to my chair.

Sir Harri: he went to the desk and pulled out two temporary dealer plates

that last for 30 days

I commented that the ac would take a while to cool the room

he filled out and handed to me a registration card that I needed to sign

then I signed

me: amazing. i am loving every minute of this. it's like i was THERE.

Sir Harri: Jason (the son) was not there to sign the title.

me: so what happened?

Sir Harri: so he promised to mail it to me or have it available for pickup.

me: i think mail is better. what do you think?

Sir Harri: He filled out the title completely, and asked me for the mileage.

I went outside

I agree

I checked the mileage and noted which cars were in the way.

There was a gold taurus wagon and a white impala.

me: YES. i noticed those this morning too.

Sir Harri: a young black man moved them for me

me: i thought "jeez, they're going to have to move a bunch of stuff for us today."

Sir Harri: and put ours in front

me: did you see that black forester?

Sir Harri: He only had to move two

me: i think we got the better car...

Sir Harri: yes

me too

me: yay! for me.

FOR US.

i am having fun.

Sir Harri: I was speaking like gollum in a southern accent this morning

in the elevator

me: that's awesome.

did anyone hear you?

i am laughing soooo hard.

Sir Harri: Nay. Jaron commented that he sometimes does four wheeling in tenessee

me: jaron is sort of a weird name.

Sir Harri: I told him I would go offroading in a second, but that motorcycles kill you

Aye

tis

me: yes, i would probably bar the way with my body.

Sir Harri: He agreed, commenting that he once fell off a banana bike as a kid and that the pavement is very unforgiving

me: HA!! he rode a banana bike!?

Sir Harri: He took me to the back room whre they keep the card machine

yea

me: i used to secretly covet those

Sir Harri: He asked if I knew your pin

I carefully said that I did

then I commented that I liked his picture

me: cool.

SIr Harri: which was a drawing meant to replicate the depression era photos of steelworkers eating lunch on a skyscraper they were building

hanging thousands of feet up

then he took me out to the car and placed the plates on it

me: I LOVE that picture

SIr Harri: Then he removed the sales sticker and used windex on the writing on the window

me too

me: we should get one for your office

Sir Harri: shhhhhh. I am telling a story here

nay

SIr Harri: tis scary

me: Yeah, you'd probably get vertigo while you sit at your lunch eating your desk

Sir Harri: hahaha

well formed sentence

there

me: it was supposed to make you laugh.

Sir Harri: yeah, tid. anyway. then i got in and drove away in the

new

FORD RANGER

i bought!

*THE END*

And no. We most definitely did NOT buy a Ford Ranger. We DID, however, acquire a 1999 Subaru Legacy Outback Wagon. Because there was NO way I was going to a) be stuck at home for 12 hours a day with a toddler or b) take two hours to commute Adam to and from work. Here are some pictures of our new zippy friend:

At our house we have a tradition of always naming our cars. Our '97 red Civic is named The Lovebug. Any suggestions for this silver beauty? I had Percy in mind, but would love to hear your suggestions...

real life inspiration

2009-08-20T11:15:00.001-04:00

Having a bad day? Read this and be inspired. I love these women.

all we need is love (it's true, you know)

2009-08-18T10:54:00.005-04:00

Here's some love I sent to Sir Harri this morning, at his brand spanking new firm email. I think I might write him some love every day. To help him keep chugging when the words blur and his head starts swimming with legalese.

This morning The Sam and I went to the post office. He charmed everyone in it, buzzing around giggling in his white sox. I love our son. Thank you for sweeping in last night and cleaning the kitchen and packing up your closet. Thank you for honoring your promise to take care of me, and happily shouldering more than your share of Samuel's care. You are a rockstar, and I adore you. Thank you for making the sacrifice of working for us, of taking time away from us everyday so our family can have an easier, well-provided for life with the 'so called good things'. Remember when we were driving in downtown Ithaca in 2003 and we had that talk about leisure time and enjoying the finer things? Well, perhaps the day will come when we have a few jetskis and a motorboat and a really nice couch.

But. Those things don't even matter. Because you are the very best thing around, and thank you for keeping going, esp. when it's hard. I love you love you love you.

Besos,
Norita
PS: Have a good day:)

One more thing: I was just filling out our change of address online, and I realized that Sir Harri now has an official suffix at the end of his name: Sir Harri, Esquire. Very posh. Though it does sound a bit like we need to be owning a horse or two. XOXO to all, from Harri.

it's been a hard day's night. and i've been working like a dog.

2009-08-14T17:58:00.003-04:00

The last two months have been crazy.

We had a Harrison family reunion. {Up top, L-R, back to front row: Jared, Katie, Rebekah, Marie, Jeff, Joseph, Mima Valle, Pipo Valle, Trent, Melody, me, Adam, Samuel} The blondes are all in-laws. {Hmm. What does that make me?}
We went to the beach.

And, during my On The Road trip to NY (thank you Katie and Richard!), I left the camera somewhere in Harrisburg, PA. Hence, random pictures of Adam's last bachelor camping trip with his brothers and Dad.

On one recent late night where we giggled a lot, Sir Harri and I hatched a plan to take The Sam to the outer banks for two or three days. Totally unfeasible, since there were only "beachboxes" available to rent for a low low price of WOW that's a lot of money. The three of us have been canoing a lot lately, and that's been the most perfect fun ever.

My love. And a canoe.

In other news, Sir Harri's work starts earlier than we thought, which is so cool.

Also, we found a place to live: two lovely bedrooms, built in wainscoting in one of the two bathrooms, built in bookshelves atop a built in woodstove, tiled sunroom with floor to ceiling windows, tiled laundry room, tiled eat-in kitchen (w/brand new countertops, stove, and sweet butter paint). Did I mention we get brand new carpet? And there's dark wood trim, solid wood doors, and a huge pecan tree in the backyard. Oh, yes. One more thing. We're about 30 yards from the Chesapeake Bay. Pretty cool thing.

Oh, and the best thing about it: Our ceiling looks similar to this. But much, much prettier. Hand. plastered. spiral. ceiling. Yum. I can't wait to move in.

how do i love thee? let me count the ways...

2009-07-09T12:03:00.005-04:00

Five years ago today, Sir Harri and I exited the stained glass doorway of the Palmyra Temple united forever as man and wife.

We adore each other.

We compliment each other.
We respect each other.

We support each other, so very well.

You might say we were made for eachother. I agree.

We laugh together. All the time.

We want to raise our family to be an eternal one, like our parents did before us.

Sometimes life is unexpected and seemingly unbearably hard. And we don't like it.

So we look around, see that we're surrounded by people who we love, and who would do anything for us. We look for the positive things, the brightness that is always there: in the gospel of Christ, the beauty of the earth, and then we celebrate each sparkle of light in the corners of our world. We eat cake, kiss, and remember tomorrow, to serve and love eachother even stronger than yesterday. And before you know it, the unbearable darknesses of yesterday and tomorrow are gone, and it's already been five years.

I love you, Adam. And a part of me feels I've always known you, always loved you, even before I knew myself. Thank you for being my best friend, confidante, and lover. Here's to five, no, make it five hundred, more years of light, laughter, and love together under the banner of the starry heavens.

and the winner for the most productive day EVER goes to....

2009-07-06T21:07:00.003-04:00

ME.
I've been up since 6am. I did {read: wash, fold, put away} four loads of laundry. I unpacked my suitcase from my myriad of travels lately, details of which will follow. I made three beautiful meals for my family (we had crepes tonight; I used a beautiful new cast iron griddle and MAN were they good). I grocery shopped for the next two weeks, thank you WMart and Trader Joe's. I put away said groceries. I cleaned out my fridge. And I cleaned out my freezer. I scrubbed my kitchen floor. And took flowers to a friend that just had her second baby. (And yes, they were yellow. But not on purpose.) I paid our rent. I got gas. I loaded the library books into the car. I kept Samuel occupied, fed, and happy. And clean. He got two baths today. I went to see a dear friend whom I've missed. We talked about etsy, textiles, schools for our kids, and ate really good food {a delicious salad with hemp seed oil dressing and freshly made pizza}. I welcomed Sir Harri and he ate dinner with us. I love family dinners. We put The Sam to bed. I got a massage, and wow does Sir Harri love me or what. I took a hot bath with The World According to Bertie. Now I'm going to bed. Until tomorrow, 6 am sharp. Besos, bye.

in print and other stories

2009-06-18T22:07:00.005-04:00

Yesterday's mailbox had a treat inside: my published birth story in the latest issue of Midwifery Today. I felt so happy to see this out for the world to see, and almost purged of the bitterness I've carried for so long.
In other news, Samuel discovered a tunnel in the box my massage table came in.

And, finally: a creative exploit. I designed this crib bumper using The Sam's blanket, which is made from Ikea's Barnslig Djur fabric. It's 14"X10", double sided, and I'm constructing it in four pieces, so the above images are the two short sides. The base fabric is corduroy and the animals are felt cutouts that I'm going to applique on top. I think I love it, but hope it will turn out after the sewing (ack!) and the stuffing are done. (And yes, the pink duck needs some legs...)

simple gifts

2009-06-15T19:15:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago I got wind of a gift coming my way from Sir Harri.
And today, weeks ahead of our fifth anniversary, I unpacked this. Can you see what it is?

Yep. It's a massage table. I am in heaven. Feel free to come join me anytime. {The best part? Okay, so there's more than one best part, but from a design perspective: it's collapsible + portable.}

Oh, yes, and I snagged this at our local thrifty for 3$. Very cool midcentury modern design, minus the scratched wood and totally heinous upholstery. A yard of funky fabric and an updated stain will turn this into a beauty. Any textile suggestions? {Sir Harri's back from the store, and it's time to hop onto my table for some relaxation. Ahhh....}

rain, rain, come and stay

2009-06-15T09:50:00.003-04:00

"For he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."

My sister Liz and I talked about this scripture on a misty day. She said, "So many people think this means that rain is bad; that the unjust are stuck with the rain. But really, it means that God loves everyone, so we all get the wonderful beauty of the rain." I agree.

Today we watch the rain fall.

Spiritual enlightenment here.

visions of the future

2009-06-11T11:32:00.006-04:00

Yesterday, we went berry picking. The Sam had a blast on the ferry over to Surry., pointing at the FWLAG and the WATER and the BIRDS. While he, Liam, Ella, and Sam meandered around the farm (The Sam got rather dirty eating berries + splashing in irrigation water), the mommas (Kelly, Olivia, and myself) picked. It got hot, so we cooled ourselves down with some made-at-the-farm strawberry ice cream. Then The Sam found his dream chair. This is my dream chair(s). The Sam's chair seems a bit easier to come by, don't you think?

Speaking of dream chairs, I am exerting alot of effort to find my way into the interior design industry. We have a window of time on the horizon during which Adam can do Samcare during the day, so I'm working to find a Norfolk design firm to work or volunteer for and get a leg up in the profession. Faith is playing a huge role in this endeavor, and I must admit I'm more than a little bit scared-afraid-and-nervous about the whole thing, but I know it will work out because I want it REAL BAD and I do feel good about it even though I do feel scared afraid and nervous AND Sir Harri has been more than one hundred percent supportive, AND is praying with me, AND his enthusiasm on my behalf makes all the difference in the world. I do love him. He has saved and helped me in so many ways.

SO. Even though I don't know what the future of time will bring, I know it will be good. Because I have faith that it will be good, that I will be ready for it, and that my family will be supporting me every step of the way. So, like the adorab-ley handsome boy below, I look to the future with hope and a brightness of faith.

gorgeous vintage dress

2009-06-10T13:21:00.005-04:00

This dress has popped up all over design blogs recently. She married Adam B., a friend I grew up with in Ithaca. Her wedding was so beautiful. Brooke from Inchmark designed the invitations.

{Photos courtesy of Rachel Thurston via Inchmark}

The Sunday Philosophy Club by Alexander McCall Smith is a fantastic book, I think you should reserve it from your library right now.

2009-06-07T17:46:00.004-04:00

I've been lazy too . About blogging, I mean. It seems there has been far too much joy seeping from the corners of our lives for a mere blog entry. But I miss this, so here I am. Sunshine, graduation , more graduation , good music , and good ol' kitchen floor dancing parties have been some of my daily themes. And, speaking of graduation, Sir Harri is no longer a mere mortal: he has passed into the realms of Juris Doctorhood. And since our vacation, he has passed even further into the realms of oblivion as he studies for the bar. Actually, he hasn't passed that far away, since he's been home for Samuel's bath + bedtime nearly every day and has certainly met my every need. Samsam and I have been spending most of our time outside, mostly submerging ourselves in water of some type. I got him this awesome hat. Today he stuck his face in the bathwater and blew bubbles of his own accord. Then I did it too, and we laughed and laughed and I almost snarfed.

Post- Edit:

My computer is doing very funny things today--like making this entire paragraph look like a hyper link, when it's not. And not showing the links in the original post to be a different color. So, if you're bored, take a minute and mouse over the above post to see if you can find any secret links to interesting places. And, also: my eyes wandered over some previous + recent posts and I was stunned and a little embarassed to realize that my life reads trouble free, smooshy, full of ease, and even a little bit cheesy. Realize, however, that with every bit of sunshine there comes a cloud, no matter how small, and that this here Harri is not without her share of them. Just now, though, those clouds are rather far and away on the horizon. Which I must admit I'm happy about. Now maybe you can go find something joyful to snarf about, even if the clouds of your life are looming over you like a broken umbrella in a rainstorm. It'll pass. Storms always do. Love to you, always.

i forgot how breathtaking a mountain sunrise is, said sir harri and i this morning

2009-05-06T18:33:00.007-04:00

I'm in Utah today. Salt Lake City to be exact. We are on vacation. The first since our honeymoon five years ago. It is joyful to be here, with the loves of my life. Today I went to see my dear friend Mimi in Provo, we were pregnant together the year I worked at BYU. I dropped by my old office in the WILK, and visited our old house on Briar. Tonight Adam and I are zipping up to Sugarhouse to see my sister. This morning, Sammy woke up at 4:30 am. I was groggy and cranky, so Sir Harri toted him up to Sugarhouse park and filled him up with McD's hotcakes and I slept in. It's been a glorious vacation, and we have five more days left!

I've thrown and assisted in throwing four large parties in the last few weeks. I have these coming out my ears. I've probably made over twenty this month in all colors. Sir Harri graduated from law school on Sunday. He wore William and Mary's beautifull embroidered hunter green robes, and looked dashing. I wanted to smooch him all day.

I also turned 25. And I love lighting candles, so I lit my own.

Thank you, Jordan, for this idea. Myself and Stacy threw Hayley a shower for baby Oliver, due in just a few weeks.

In case it's not totally obvious, the theme of the shower was YELLOW.

I made these for favors.

Little miss Kelly (pictured above in that fabulous eggplant number) is having her first girl (but third baby), and is currently in love with birds, so I decorated for her shower with oodles of paper birds on string, tissue tied lamps, and lots of poofers:

{Oh, yeah, I also sliced my finger while cutting azaleas right before the party started. Nice. It bled the whole time. Elizabeth got a beautiful shot.}

{Me and Gwyneth, Easter 2009}

I'll be back soon, with more tales of cheer + life. Love to you all.

roxette, birthdays, and lots of birthday love

2009-04-29T21:19:00.003-04:00

I'm sitting at my kitchen table taking a break from hanging crepe paper and balloons. Decorating for my very own birthday party this Friday. You're all invited, of course. 4pm, Our Patio. I'm listening to Roxette sing "It Must Have Been Love", but it's over now. It must have been good, but she lost it somehow. Sir Harri wrote this on my fb wall today (he also put up a picture of me as his profile picture, which caused me all kinds of confusion, but ANYWAY):

Dear, Sweet Nora:

Tomorrow is your birthday, and being the eager beaver that I am, I want to wish you HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You have blessed so many lives, and now you have created a life (an extremely beautiful one). You are so bright and intelligent, kind and strong. You are all the things I could ever hope for in a friend. As you think over your life of good deeds, the millions of smiles you have brought to people's faces, your ups and downs, please know that so many of us are indebted to you. Think of the thousands of lives you have touched and continue to touch. You inspire and challenge us. You bring light to our dark days. Your creativity and passion, persistence and faith are beyond measure.

And I thank you for those gifts.

I thank God every moment that He created such a wonder as you. You are beautiful. No matter what life throws at you, it can never beat you. You are filled with "every good thing". Know that I adore you.

What I have with this man is love. It's not over now. It is good, and I will never lose it. Tonight after a longish day of mothering and babysitting, I came home to an EMPTY + organized junk drawer, sparkling pans, clean dishes, and a kitchen floor that caresses my bare feet.

Now, my love, How Do I Get You Alone?

waaaade...in the water

2009-04-26T18:56:00.002-04:00

travelocities in the bright, bright sunshine

2009-04-23T13:15:00.005-04:00

we travelled to the park this week. samuel chased a big basketball to his heart's content.

we watched boats go by.

we picked flowers, and, thanks to a freaky random deal on orbitz, i just scored two super cheap tickets to UT during the third week in May. we're excited to see our family and friends way out west. at the end of our day at the park, we slid down the slide.

happy earth day

2009-04-22T13:43:00.004-04:00

happy earth day, dear readers. this morning sir harri got another offer from the Norfolk office of troutman sanders. we took it. sir harri starts in january. now if only i could go plant a tree in celebration.

this recent life

2009-04-17T20:50:00.003-04:00

Our recent life has been full of small joys:

an easter egg hunt on a wonderful spring morning;

a festive weeknight barbeque with lovely friends olivia, baby ella + michelle;

a girl's night out; i got to hold lovely gwyneth for a long, long time in my grand mother's gloves;

friends at the egg hunt; i hold gwneth, next to darcey, elizabeth, hayley, stacy, kelly, leslie, denise;
the day of my triathlon, with my friend + fellow participant olivia, before the race;

at long last, the FINAL finish line after a 300M swim, 10 mile bike ride, + 5K run;

my chain fell off on the first hill, but i still finished in under 2 hours, olivia in under an hour and a half; a beautiful * hard* day. so, now you've seen some of our happy joys.

the bloody mess has a very, very happy ending:

2009-04-17T09:17:00.002-04:00

on wednesday, (hold your breath).........

Sir Harri got a job offer.

a huge blessing, an even bigger relief, and we couldn't be more thrilled. we're still waiting on one more firm to let us know, so plans aren't totally settled, but happiness reigns at our little abode. three (make that a million) cheers for ADAM!!! i love you.

a bloody mess

2009-04-16T22:27:00.004-04:00

well, friends + readers, it looks like yet another hand wound will make my posting a bit spotty for the next while. (and yes, i do feel a complete fool for hurting myself in nearly the same place twice in three weeks). here's the scoop: some friends and i threw this amazing woman a baby shower tonight (photos to come, thanks elizabeth!), and whilst trimming fresh azalea stems to place around the luminaries + pom poms, off came the pad of my LH middle finger (jordan found it in her sink strainer right before i left, EWW!). i got a blessing immediately, + i will "heal" + have "no permanent damage". it bled profusely for two hours and i sat patiently on the couch, chatting, eating hot soup + spinach burritos + chocolate covered strawberries. on my way out, this blessed friend convinced me that i shouldn't be alone and hopped in my car with me. she stayed at my home with sammy so sir harri and i took a short + futile trip to the ER (where the pronounced wait was two hours, meaning it was at least four), and he ever-so-gently bandaged my hand with gauze + tape (donated by the triage nurse) in the women's bathroom. he ran some warm water on it for cleansing purposes and i have never been in so. much. pain. worse than 36 hours of labor, worse than major abdominal surgery. my entire hand was being torched. made me realize what horrors she is going through. sir harri calmly said, "it's okay, everything's going to be okay." and he taped my finger beautifully and held me still after my violent shrieks and thrashings that everyone in the ER waiting room heard. it's stopped bleeding now and isn't bad enough for any surgical treatment. thank you to my lovely friends who were so caring + bright to me tonight, and to sir harri for treating me so royally. be back soon...love to you all.

prince samsam

2009-04-11T21:09:00.002-04:00

Most of you have already seen these on fb, but here are some pictures of a recent photo shoot in the gardens behind the Governor's Mansion at Colonial Williamsburg. A lady passerby said, "Oh, look. A little King George." People say the strangest things sometimes, but he does look like a little piece of royalty.

ages and ages

2009-04-11T19:34:00.006-04:00

It feels like ages since I have put any of myself out here. Lots of things have transpired recently to fill the time, almost too much to script here. Among others, I fulfilled the depths of my design cravings in SFO {and had a glorious time with my dear sister}, sliced my hand open with {get this, don't laugh}: a butter knife, worked through my child's first double ear infection, waited and waited some more about Sir Harri's job {and am still waiting}, enjoyed beautiful + soaking afternoons playing in "puddahs" {puddles} with Samsam, proofread a friend's book manuscript to be published in May, and went to quite a lot of parties.

First: pictures from Cali.

The awesome, zippy, foldable Dahon bike I went everywhere, anywhere, anytime, allthetime on. My favorite feature? The dinosaur horn.

No trip to Palo Alto is complete sans a trip to my favorite clothier. On Alma Street, this bright orange was a welcome sight. Where else except San Francisco could you have watermelon paint and a waterfall next to the front door?

Whole Foods Market: Stood from afar and thought, "Just YUM. " And, we went to Milk Pail Market, which had enough YUMS for an eternity. {I wish I lived in a hut outside the door.} Smother their herb loaf with a creamy cheese, add a tall cold glass of orange juice and a sprinkling of California sunshine, and you'll be in heaven. I was.

Then, go here, DWR, and you'll really be in heaven. If only their design was really and truly within reach of my pocketbook. Alas. Saarinen tables, and finally getting to sit myself in:

The Womb chair.
The Eames lounger + stacked plywood chairs.

The Bertoia diamond lounge chair, which was surprisingly comfortable. I've been tossing around the idea {in my head} to create a stainless steel mesh chair made of thousands and thousands of tiny chain links; sort of like a chainmaille chair. That would look fabulous with your you-know-who-you-are new garage shelf hiders, yes?

Of course, the actual execution of said chair is an entirely different matter. A girl can dream.

Jacquelyn (left), Julia (right). My sister's youngest twin daughters. They just turned three and are rather daring and perfectly graceful on their two-wheeler bikes.

On one of my excursions to downtown Palo Alto, I was biking down Bryant Street and came upon some of the most beautiful, cozy (and expensive, I'm sure), well-landscaped and beautifully designed homes I have ever seen. These pictures just don't do them justice.

Imagine just happening upon an entire bed of new Cala lilies. Mmmm.

My favorite house; as pointed out by my sister, these owners should have hired a landscape designer who used evergreens, so peeping Janes like me can't try and satisfy her curiosity...

On my last day, I hopped on the express train with my bike to downtown San Francisco with my BIL Andy, who works here, at Gap Inc. I had some walking around money in my pocket, a file of beautiful addresses to visit, and, most beautiful and amazing of all, time and solitude. And, of course, a delicous packed lunch and a good book. First {for almost three hours--I got practically drunk on beauty, superior craftship + pure design}, I went to Limn {pronounced "Limb"}. My favorite things there were a huge live moss wall hanging, and this {although I was in love with practically everything}. Then, I went to Ligne Roset, CB2, Room & Board, MOMA, Union square {read: three stories of H&M}, and Britex {which was a textile lover's absolute DREAM}. It was a truly perfect day. I had lots of those in California on my week of vacation. Catherine and I ate lots of gelato classico, walked the dish, hung out a bit here, ate amazing food all the time, and had fulfilling conversations at every turn. Thank you, thank you, to Adam + Catherine and her family, who made this all possible. All my love to you, from Harri.

SFO

2009-03-16T12:25:00.003-04:00

I spent spring break in San Francisco with my sister. Adam (and Granmy) took care of Samuel all week. I had a grand time. More to come when I've gathered my photos.

benz, corvette + an alfa romeo

2009-03-04T11:37:00.006-05:00

I'm not driving a little red corvette, but used to dream of winding around the coastal mountains of northern {read: Carmel} California with a patterned driving scarf around my long blonde {ha, ha} hair in one of these. {My dad drove one across the country and stashed it in the huge barn-garage.} So when I spotted these darling little matchbox cars behind a large stash of discarded MaryKay cosmetics at our local thrifty {for a mere $.75, too}, they were instantly mine. Their chrome details and large black hubs tweaked a rather happy emotional chord that bears revisiting:

My dad collects old cars. He keeps his 13 vehicles {including one -literally- burned car that he used for 'parts'} scattered about the garages of our various home + rental properties in Ithaca. He had a few 1950's + 60's Mercedes Benz models, which were my favorites. Every spring he spent a few weeks tinkering with them. {To the chagrin of my mother, who half-joked that she'd use one of those "old things" for his coffin.} He always took me with him when he went 'a-tinkering', and I loved it.

We rode out to our Oakcrest Road apartment house in our rusted-through-the-floor-let's-watch-the-yellow-lines-go-by '79 souped up GMC van. It was always muddy and rather cold, but the breeze had a hint of warmth. We brought bread machine sandwiches and wrinkly apples for lunch, and shared a bottle of OJ. We never talked much; we didn't need to.

I hefted the cinder blocks away from the garage door, then Dad cranked it door open {always a risky business since it was always "about" to fall off the runners}. I shut my eyes as the mice ran by, freed from their winter of dusty cold {this may or may not be a figment of my imagination}. We cranked up the freezing hose water, filled our our buckets with hugely awesome beige sponges, turtle wax and very special car soap and got to work.

My job was always polishing the chrome. {Except one year, when the black Benz sat outside during the spring and got sap droppings all over the roof. Then we worked together for an entire day, just scraping sap off with our fingers.} I loved how brilliant the chrome supports around the steering wheels got with just a small bit of effort. And at the end, after working my way around all four wheelwells, headlights, doorhandles, and bumpers, I got to sparkle up the bonnet emblem.

My dad worked on the engines. He laid on his back on the rough gravel in his tan work Dickies, scooching forward and back, sticking out his hands as they groped for a wrench or a screw or a hammer or that pair of pliers over there. His toolboxes were always demonishly heavy to lift. The smallish grey oblong one that looked oh-so-light and I were always at war. But I always won.

Oh, how I miss those beautiful cars. Or maybe I just really miss my dad. He's in Scotland on a mission with my mom. Perhaps having these wee cars around will make the time pass a little faster, and warm up the muddy memories of tinkering with yesterday's chrome.

wonderful white window light, vivacious vintage vipples, + a pulchritudinous plethora of pages

2009-03-04T10:11:00.007-05:00

Scrubbed and shined the kitchen yesterday. Now I actually want to be here. Moved my wintering geraniums to the very bright laundry, freeing up this bay window in the kitchen. Added some TJ's tulips + library books. Now all I need is a fireplace and cozy chair. (Hmm, maybe the oven and a kitchen stool will do...) Below, some recent thrift store finds.
My favorite: 2$ Hardcover Complete Tales of Beatrix Potter, with full color illustrations.

Old school Fisher Price pull toys. (SCORE!! I had the phone as a kid and nearly popped my top when I spotted it.) And, Samuel's personal fav, his very own mini-abacus. It's been a lovely month for good finds. {And, no, vipples is most definitely NOT a word.}

Sweet Samuel Samplings: First, shutting Dad in the closet whilst Mom laughs hysterically. Second, meandering around his parents.

2009-03-04T09:40:00.005-05:00

when the waves roll in

2009-02-28T12:42:00.004-05:00

It's almost spring, and yesterday hit 70, so Sammy and Lady Harri hightailed it to the beach. We had a grand time, and met up with our friends the Crawfords for a bit.

Drumroll, please...

Below: Samuel walking. ALL by himself. For the first time. Shot last night. After we took this video + Sammy had his bath, we sat at either ends of the house and he walked back and forth between us, giggling and squealing joyfully every step of the way. It was the best night we three have had yet.

today, we schlepped. and finger painted. and did our taxes. {sort of.}

2009-02-26T12:31:00.007-05:00

Hmm, let me examine this thing called paper. Even though it's duct taped to my tray, I will rip it to shreds and it will taste good with the blue paint lounging on my top lip.

I luuurrve me some Sammy belly.

Beautiful squigglies + intent on his work. Below, seeing what yellow tastes like.

A few steps:

A few seconds later:

Zoom, zoom, zoom:

a smoothie and a churro

2009-02-25T20:46:00.003-05:00

Today, after Samuel's nap, the two of us braved the strong sunshine and headed down to Costco for some much needed papiere goods and a big box of Tide. After charming everyone in the store, the little man and I got a very berry smoothie and a long, warm churro {for a grand total of $2.45}, and headed back out to the car. I loaded up our amenities into the trunk, Sammy into his seat, and then plopped down next to him with my feet propped up on the 30 rolls of Scott. We spent the next thirty minutes like lizards on a hot rock, asorbing the warm sunshine whilst munching tastily on bits of churro and sucking long draughts from our fresh smoothie straws. It was awesome. I'm so glad we needed toilet paper.

warning the following post contains opinionated and unpleasant and negative material. read on.

2009-02-24T18:35:00.005-05:00

Adam and I go to bed early. {Our friends the Grady's witnessed this the day after Valentine's, when they came by at 7:30pm and found us ready for bed. For me, this meant wearing my very nerdy thick glasses and my white cotton nighttime gloves, with my face covered in dots of thick white spot-remover cream. Lovely.}

So, back to the original story. We go to bed early. Last night, we were in bed by 9:30. An hour later, an ambulance blasted into our front door, lights blaring and engine roaring. Not really, but it might as well have been. Our large bedroom windows face the parking lot, and our insulation is basically nonexistent. I absolutely HATE getting waked up. HATE IT. I turn into a monster. So, I laid there, fuming, uttering obsenities under my breath, as the radios of the ambulance guys crackled and yelled, the engine still running and the lights brightening up our room like noonday. {Yes, I probably should have wondered why the ambulance was there and feeling some compassion for whomever needed it. No such luck. Only thinking of myself here.} After TEN MINUTES of smelling exhaust, being wide awake, and listening to the idiots try to back up {BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP}, I stormed outside to "get something out of the car". {Read: chew the ambulance dudes out and try to at least get them to turn off their engine, it not for me then for the environment.}

Ignoring the faint and patient pleas of my husband {he watched from the window and told me when I came inside that my indignance was cute {i can assure you that's the last thing I was feeling.}}, I threw around some dirty looks and a "what the hell" just as the six {SIX?} ambulance dudes were coming out of our elderly neighbor Ruth's house. {Her dog's name is Toby Keith, she smokes like it's food, and she is a total racist, but I like her anyway.}

AND, she wasn't on a stretcher or in some other medically compromising position. SHE WAS STANDING UP, FULLY DRESSED: "Bah bah, boys, thainks fo' comin' bah."

And that's why I got waked up!?! {For nothing. Or, maybe Toby Keith got stuck behind the TV.} But, don't worry, my story's not over yet.

An hour later, I am awoken, hearing Samuel crying with not one, but two voices. {When I was little I always would try to sing harmonies by myself. I would concentrate really hard and force my voice to make two sounds. It sounded awful. Like a dying cat.} I perk up a little bit and think, "Well, I must be hallucinating because I have never heard anything like this before." Then I realize the sound's coming from outside. And then, in a brilliant flash, I think, "Oh, My, Gosh. It's those damn cats." Our various neighbors have a various collection of cats. I hate cats. Sorry. But I do. Always have, always will.

So I storm outside again, and sure enough, two huge nasty cats are rubbing up against eachother {they hadn't quite gotten started, if you know what I mean}. "PSSSST!", I say. "Scat!" And they run off. If only I'd had a rock or two. {Only slightly kidding here.}

This at the end of a day where I got held up not once, but TWICE in the express line {read: under 10 items} at the grocery store down the street.
I am a fast mover. Always have been. So, I have a problem with waiting in line. Especially when the person in front of me has issues with their order and the cashier is forced to go check it for them. Twice. In the space of 3 hours. Not cool. Not cool.

Well, thus ends the bitter rant against ambulances, cats, and lame express grocery lines. Thanks for reading, and sleep well. I know I will {knock on wood...}

for the sake of history

2009-02-23T11:59:00.002-05:00

I'm posting this very short and rather uninteresting {to all except Sir Harri and myself, probably} video because it's the closest Sammy has come to actually walking by himself. Also, I watched "The Secret Life of Bees" yesterday and adored every minute. Also I cried profusely. And yes, I did read {and love} the book. For a low budget film, it was truly spectacular, and captured the atmosphere of the book beautifully.

99 luftballoons {or just one, in this case}

2009-02-22T22:12:00.004-05:00

Thew a wee dinner party tonight for the missionaries and some investigators. It was genuinely fun, which was a nice surprise since I haven't previously hosted a missionary lesson. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Due to a lack of tablecloth and other linens, I used construction paper for the placemats and balloons tied with string for napkin rings. Coupled with my Bavarian salad plates + Picassos, it looked fab. {At least, I think so.} I made this, with a few minor alterations, plus bread + salad. Shoot, looking at these pictures, I realize I had the orange and blue balloons on the wrong side. Blue should have gone with the orange paper, in the spirit of 'opposites attract'. Alas. Still, it was a lovely evening.
Wish you {all} could have been here.

walking on sunshine {in pictures}

2009-02-21T09:33:00.004-05:00

Yesterday Stacy and I loaded up our boys and drove down to colonial williamsburg to soak up some sunshine.

The colonial nursery + gardens. The soil never freezes here, so there's always something tasty growing. Ahh, to have a year-round garden!

The daffs are up, in February. In NY, spring didn't come until May, perhaps June, so I'm continually amazed at what this southern soil produces so early in the year.

when the day is grey and ordinary

2009-02-18T19:14:00.004-05:00

Today, it's pouring. And cold. And windy. A rather bleak combination.

And I am at a loss for things to write about today. Not because my life is boring or my heart is empty; quite the opposite is true. I think it's because I have so much in mind that there's no place to start. I have been harboring a deep yearning for true and beautiful creative expression for a long time.

Every day I watch the world go by and a piece of me is missing, unfulfilled. I use this blog to try and express some of the bits, but honestly it just doesn't cut up like I need it to. I can't recall any other feeling to match this one, this ultimate and incessant need to create. I want to write a memoir (I know, I'm only 25--there honestly can't be that much to write about yet). I want to learn, really learn, to draw and paint, to express the feelings of my universe visually. I want to learn the elements of interior design and create functionally beautiful spaces for myself and my children. I want to do all these things, and more. And the days, minutes, and hours keep slipping away, filled with dirty dishes and dirtier laundry.

At the same time, I feel guilty that I have these desires. I feel conflicted about being a good mom and doing what I want--most of the exposure I've had to mothering is either you're a good mom OR you do what you want. Not both, unless being a good mom is all you want. It's not all I want. And I feel guilty about that, selfish somehow. But then I read things like this, and know that my artistically creative desire isn't misplaced, that it can't be, because otherwise I wouldn't have it.

Hopefully time and inspiration will illuminate some of these conflicts and myriad of feelings. Until then, here are some beautiful pieces of art that will hopefully brighten your rains, whether they be inside or out.

{a beautifully bright set of rooms in a 2.5X5.5 meter house in Antwerp. photos courtesy of style-files.com}

{totally rad Eames hang-it-all. photo courtesy of DWR}

{FLORA, by eliza & axel}

{helen dardik illustrations, pattern no. 15}

{"La Cerise Sur Le Gateau” (the cherry on the cake) textile line.

photos courtesy of style-files.com}

{heartwrenchingly beautiful design from Violise Lunne. she also makes stunning paper shoes.}

{artist andrea donnelly's "The Lady" series}

other places you'll always find beauty:
wide open spaces
little yellow house by the sea
design*sponge

apartment therapy

happy valentine's!

2009-02-14T20:25:00.003-05:00

Most (or perhaps some) of you don't know this, but my maiden name is Ballantyne. Most of the time people couldn't pronounce it. But it came in very handy on Valentine's Day. "Hey Nora" they said, "Won't you be my Ballantyne?" {har, har, har}.

This week has been lovely--Sammy and I took a trip to {a very empty}Yorktown beach on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday? It's all a blur...) We ripped off our shoes and socks and sauntered around together, burying eachother's feet and eating lots of sand. I really did. Eat sand. Tasted terrible, but SamSam was packing it in and he made it look so appetizing. We went home and had a good strong lunch.

Thursday I dressed up like an 80's rocker (read: crimped hair, purple tights, frilly black lace miniskirt, which I'm still dying to wear to church) and watched "Troop Beverly Hills" with a bunch of girfriends. It was painfully awful and hilarious, the perfect movie to watch with layers of pink blush on. I looked sort of like this, plus an obligatory side ponytail and not quite so skanky.

Happy Love Day, and lots of love to all on this very lovely Valentine's Day!

a hodgepodge

2009-02-10T08:52:00.006-05:00

I can't tell you how many times I've hit "New Post" over the last few days and haven't been able to just start writing. My life has been up and down and all around in terms of experiences, feelings, and happenings. I'll start with the less than savory parts. Yesterday Samsam grabbed my dinner, the second to last piece of a gorgeous deep dish vegetable pot pie, and flung it onto the floor. The bowl shattered and glass made it everywhere. Thankfully, none of the shards ended up in Samuel'e eyes {or mine, for that matter}. No pot pie for Harri. *Sniff*. Man, I was looking forward to it, too. {It's okay, Sir Harri made me a beautiful pesto pizza later which I devoured with gusto.}

THEN, after eating a wonderful dinner, and an entire bottle of milk, Samuel threw up and I mean THREW UP all over the bathroom. {SamSam got a cold, and so hasn't been eating all that well, much to my chagrin. There's just something so magical about watching your child LOVE food--it gives me an indescribable sense of satisfaction.} Let's just say yesterday afternoon just wasn't meant to be. Easy, that is.

Sir Harri got home from school in the nick of time, though, and cleaned up the entire kitchen. This morning I woke up to bare countertops and an empty dishwasher. Ahhh.

Then, after eating my pizza, I went out to the library to pick up my reserve copy of Angela's Ashes, a memoir by Frank McCourt. {I know, it's shameful that I haven't read it yet.} At the checkout, I ran into the mother of my friend that died last year. We talked, and it felt good to have her lean on me just a little. We made plans to make some music together and just catch up. As I left the library I was filled with a sense of 'home'. Williamsburg has filled so much of my soul with beauty and peace. Running into a dear friend just by accident, at the {sacred} public library of all places, made me feel part of a beautiful community. And it made the twinge of sadness I feel at the inevitable summer move just a little bit deeper.

On a much more magical and happy note, my B-i-Law Joseph and I went out together Saturday night to see The 5 Browns perform. It was spiritually beautiful, visually magical, and completely inspiring. Any further description will only cheapen the experience. I was so honored to go with Joseph, who appreciated it as deeply as I did. Thanks for thinking of me. I only wish Melody could have seen it, being the amazing pianist she is.

Then, this morning, I received this email:

Dear Nora,

Thank you for submitting your [birth] story. We really liked it and it will fit perfectly in our next issue, which is on Trauma and Sexual Abuse Affecting the Childbearing Year. I look forward to working with you.

Sincerely,Cheryl K. Smith
Managing Editor
Midwifery Today

I am thrilled. So, every day's brought a mix of the good, the gross, the ugly, the lovely, and the sweet. But I'll take it. I'll take it with a wink, a smile, some good music, and a lot of clean rags.

PS: A few of you asked for my pickle recipe. Go to this link: http://www.designspongeonline.com/2009/01/in-the-kitchen-with-sharon-spain.html. The recipe's a piece of cake to make and will keep you as cool as a cucumber.

published?

2009-02-05T14:27:00.004-05:00

My baby just waking, so this will be short. Last night after wrangling with some anxiety, I submitted a narrative version of my birth story for publication in Midwifery Today. The managing editor contacted me today to let me know it made the first cut (ha, ha) and is being reviewed by the board for their next issue, which will focus on trauma. It will be an interesting experience for me if it ends up getting published: that story details the most violent and intimate experiences I've had in this mortal skin, and to have it out for the world to see will make me feel rather vulnerable. But if that small vulnerability on my end will help others with similar experiences heal, then it will be more than worth it. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
PS: The pickles are delish. Especially with razor sharp Vermont cheddar atop warm crusty bread with a dash of honeymustard.

pickles by spain

2009-02-04T11:30:00.004-05:00

i made these today. the recipe is from Sharon Spain, a textile designer. thanks to {designspongeonline.com} for the image and inspiration. tomorrow i'll tell you how good they are.

last night

2009-02-04T11:26:00.003-05:00

on his way home, sir harri stopped by Farmer Joe's for these.

for me.

how nice.

dear sir harri

2009-02-03T10:32:00.005-05:00

samuel and i are at home today. you are at the prosecutor's office, working for free. we miss you. we've spent a lot of time with you these last few days. it's been a real treat.

samuel took a nice, long, warm bath until he was all pruny. he soaked me with splashes and made new words with his foam alphabet like "3BU7RZ", giggling all the way. i scrubbed, 'ccumed and tidied, stripped the bed and flipped it. i tried on my new blue fedora.

samuel tried on my new blue fedora, then worked his best to

kick down the gate.

no luck.

on a heavier note, the Little Sir Harri made three stinky diapers, which he seems quite happy about.

the kitchen's still a bit messy, but dinner is simmering, my drawing pad is

itching for this evening's charcoal,
and we're just aching for you to arrive home again.

love,

lady Harri and her little Sir.

sad day for domino lovers

2009-02-01T19:47:00.001-05:00

Domino is closing. I am so bummed, but happy their site's staying live for some weeks so I can peruse and download favorite images and articles for safekeeping until I can put their ideas around the corners of my own home.

is it the mother or her milk?

2009-01-27T14:08:00.002-05:00

I found this online today and found it thought provoking and very interesting. What do you think?

a mini godzilla came to visit today

2009-01-27T11:35:00.003-05:00

beautiful days

2009-01-21T10:29:00.003-05:00

I have beautiful days because I spend my time with him.

And (!) SamSam got his first haircut, which was fun for me and bewildering for him. Now the hairy remnants of that trim reside in a labelled plastic baggie on our fridge. (No, we don't normally put our bodily clippings near our food, his just haven't made it upstairs to the babybook yet.)

some things just have to be said.

2009-01-20T17:32:00.003-05:00

A great end to a momentous day. In other words, good riddance.

on this inauguration day

2009-01-20T08:22:00.002-05:00

Watch this. It inspired me. Hopefully it'll inspire you, too. What's your pledge? Love to all from Harri on this historic day.

sensibly lucky

2009-01-18T20:38:00.004-05:00

I end this day a lucky duck: snuggling up on our (lightly un-) comfortable futon with a husband who appreciates Austen subtleties, watching the Miss Dashwoods find love and getting a footrub (I get the footrub, not the Miss Dashwoods, in case that wasn't clear). Goodnight, until tomorrow.

pieces of inspiration

2009-01-18T20:10:00.002-05:00

Jenna Lyon's charming Brooklyn brownstone. She is the creative director of this. The nursery's creamy striped ceiling and chalkboard walls blended with the organic weight of animal prints creates such an illuminating mixture. Precisely why she is an creative director and I am not. The creamy yellow sofa sets up so beautifully against the light charcoal walls in the living room. Such an inspirational home.

poisonwood can be good for you

2009-01-15T11:15:00.002-05:00

I am in the thick of one of the greatest books I have read to date (up there with "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn" and "How Green Was My Valley"): it's called, "The Poisonwood Bible", by Barbara Kingsolver. This amazing woman is also the author of the tastiest books written in the last ten years, "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life". The latter documents her family's culinary journey of locavorism and living off the fruits of their own backyard. An inspiring and surprisingly engrossing must read.

"The Poisonwood Bible" is an involving heart and mind tale of a family of Baptists who travel to the Congo in the early 60's. Told from the perspective of the four women in the family, the mother and her three daughters, their story examines their evolving relationships with their hellfiredamnation father and the rich cultural traditions of a changing Africa. This is one of those insightful books that brings you inside the page, teaching with every word, shifting your perceptions of life, knowing, and God. I can't wait to finish it. Certainly a wonderful way to ring in the New Year.

What are some of your recent or long-time favorite books?

my house smells so good

2009-01-15T09:26:00.004-05:00

'Cause yesterday I treated myself to a bunch of these. Coupled with some Itzhak Perlman (customized here) floating sweetly around my rooms, it's been a lovely day. I still have more than a lot of pictures to post from our holiday adventures with my brother and sister and their families, but let me reawaken you to my life of late.

Samuel and Sir Harri are both fully reconstituted after their bout with the stomach flu. Let me add that caring for a vomiting one year old is one of the saddest I have yet experienced in this mortal skin of mine. Samuel was frightened, tired (why does this always happen in the middle of the night?), and totally confused with what his body was doing. This experience also made me interminably grateful for my washer and dryer. I will do my best to NOT complain about the beauties of laundry from now on. Samuel is sleeping wonderfully and eating like a horse, which two things in my life I absolutely love.

I have gone running regularly this week, always to Colonial Williamsburg. Afterwards, I let Samuel meander around outside his stroller so he can stretch his legs. This week's been a bit chilly, between 30 and 40 degrees (granted, it's cold, but NOTHING like I was raised in).

Yesterday after my run, Samuel was walking around and around one of his favorite trees, bundled in four shirts, a jacket, mittens, and a hat. Not to mention shoes and socks (which things I often chose to go without as a child--too much hassle). An older gentleman walks by. I smile and say hello. He glares at me, grumbles, and says, "He'll freeze doing that." I keep my smile out and feel...wierd. Does he seriously think my child will freeze? Really? What happened to the age old greeting of "Hello", instead of an underhanded judgemental insult? And why am I unable to think of an appropriate response ("No, he won't, but thanks anyway.") right then instead of ten minutes later? People say the strangest things when it comes to children. When I was pregnant with Samuel (I wasn't showing AT ALL yet), the assistant head of the Dean's office at BYU said, "My, you're looking big!" So awkward. Let's stick to the basics: on pregnancy that's, "Congratulations", and with children, "Oh my, what a cute baby", and a simple "Hello" is always the friendliest way to go. Thanks anyway, for being bigger, calling Samuel a girl, and forecasting my child's frigid end.

twinkles of Christmas

2008-12-31T23:18:00.009-05:00

Here are some quiet glimpses of our Williamsburg Christmas. First, the Ballantyne family of heirloom Clauses made of bowling pins and bits of velvety brocade. This year I gave them new hair, and Misses Clause got a brand new bow.
Fenton Mill Farms, where we acquired a lovely four foot Leland pine, freshly cut, for a grand total of $6.

We left it undecorated and enjoyed the tilting green freshness for a few days.

A fantastically juicy holiday treat (of course from Trader Joe's, where else?)provided a lovely prelude to my baking days: a pomelo. A huge citrus that tastes like an orangrapefruit. If you haven't tried one, it's about time.

In an attempt to copy the gorgeous wreaths around this neighborhood, I made my own holiday celebration with tree remants, oven-dried lemons and bright green limes, and LOTS of 24 gauge wire. I think it turned out rather well.

Mister Clause kept a watchful eye over our festivities.

Let the baking begin! I spent a weekend in the kitchen, whipping up coconut macaroons, fudge, brownies, russian tea cookies, and alfajores (a buttery and absolutely DELICIOUS sandwich cookie smothered in dulce de leche and confectioner's sugar).
I wrapped the goodies in old formula tins decorated thusly:

and dropped them on loved one's doorsteps. I only wished my siblings lived around the corner so they could get one too.

Lastly, the reason we had the lovliest Christmas of all.

happy happy jo-jo's

2008-12-31T19:35:00.005-05:00

Samuel's first experience with Trader Joe's Peppermint Jo-Jo's. Joyful and lovely, all folded up in choco-minty goodness.

we are family

2008-12-20T19:46:00.003-05:00

crazy crayons

2008-12-19T11:21:00.002-05:00

I stumbled on this while doing a major two-hour-internet-design-fashion-creative browse last night. Thought it'd be fun to pass along to all my artistic readers with lots of old crayons laying around...

mustardly adorned

2008-12-19T10:39:00.003-05:00

I'm not usually a fan of mustard. But this custom creation by Etsy seller Yellowcake brings new meaning to the word. Covet, Adore, Want, Delight, Love, Obsess are some words I feel when admiring the gorgeous details of this work of art. Plus, it comes in lots more colors...

far out

2008-12-18T23:42:00.002-05:00

In the Outer Banks, that is. Salvo, to be exact. This is our Thanksgiving {way overdue, I know}.

Six quality families {counting the children = 19 people under ONE roof}, gorgeous food, and pure creations like these, life doesn't get much better.

salvation in salvo

2008-12-18T23:38:00.003-05:00

Our lovely room. A quick rearrange made the room much better. Samuel can't sleep without his own space. We were thinking of putting his crib in the bathtub {in all seriousness}, but settled on the space between the sink and the toilet instead. Worked great.

19 People Eating Breakfast

Ladies of the house, immediately prior to stuffing ourselves with turkey, ham, potatoes, green beans, broccoli casserole, sparkling cider, and five kinds of pie. Trust me, we looked Even Better after eating.

back with a flash

2008-12-16T17:52:00.002-05:00

Hi! I'm back, and boy, do I have a lot to say.
First let me start with a short but potent rant about the complete nincompoops that run our digital world. I happen to know very little about the inner workings of computers. There are those that know much more than I do. Some of these knowledgeable people make up a substantial part of my immediate family, but in talking to me about computers and telling me that I need to switch to the LINUX OS (Linux is an alternate operating system to such normals as Windows and Mac), they have very rarely, if ever, treated me like I'm stupid.

I have learned, in trying to fix my computer from a MAJOR viral infection of some kind (the thing wouldn't even boot properly), that a huge dichotomy exists between people that know a LOT about computers and people that don't, like me. I have decided that a group needs to be formed to ameliorate this gap--perhaps they can mediate between the two groups during troubleshooting sessions, or teach the geeks to be nicer to non-geeks. Perhaps they can be named the anti-technology-love-everyone-help-the-geeks-be-nice-groupies. Or something.

Both Ahmed and Ravi, members of the New Dell(hi) Customer Support Team, treated me like an idiot. Now, I might not know alot about computers, but I know what an OS is, I know how to find the control panel, I am well versed in the world of "right clicking", and know how to boot from the DVD. Both Ahmed and Ravi told me repeatedly "not to worry, we'll take care of everything for you." It was also extremely frustrating to try to troubleshoot a computer with someone who's first language was not English. Usually I have zero problem interacting with people over the phone who have an accent. I am also quite good at understanding people with accents. But computer support is an entirely different matter: computers have an entire verbal language built around their operation, a language that is communicated most clearly when each party can fully understand the other. I can assure you, this did NOT happen with either Ahmed or Ravi, which made our patronizing interactions all the more miserable.

After my less than pleasant interactions with people halfway around the world (thankfully they didn't charge me the going rate for making international calls), I took my trusty and totally broken computer to the Geek Squad, who mumbled on and on about how I need to switch to Linux. I could just FEEL their disdain. Ugh. I got enough out of them to know I needed to do a clean installation of Vista, wiping out all the data I (shamfully) never backed up in the three months I've owned my computer.

So I went home and attemped to reinstall, with the help of my older brother (a Microsoft programmer) on the line. It didn't work.

The next morning, I tried again.

And it WORKED!!!! I was like a million bucks. I updated my drivers online and am successfully up and running. And I can't tell you how GOOD, amazing, JOYSOME it felt to fix my own machine. Here's to Ahmed, Ravi, and the local Geeks for NOT helping me with my machine. And an even bigger hip hip hooray for me. And maybe we can even cheer for the nonexistent anti-technology-love-everyone-help-the-geeks-be-nice-groupies, because I feel that good. Love to ALL! from Harri. Yes, it feels good to be back.

please excuse the interruption

2008-12-11T10:01:00.002-05:00

My computer crashed. So, until it's up and running, your daily dose of love from harri will be slightly diminished, I'm afraid. Stay tuned, though, and keep looking forward to beautiful new posts coming soon. Love to all, from Harri.

running with dolphins

2008-11-30T19:16:00.005-05:00

This year's Thanksgiving was nothing short of totally rad. Sir Harri and I got back in town today after spending a week at Salvo, in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

The morning after we arrive, I go for a much longed for run along the sand-packed coast. I meet silent, weathered fishermen, and swirls of birds diving and fluttering for their breakfast. I turn my head out to the blue sea, and glimpse a large black fin arcing through the water about 75 yards away. Suddenly there are lots, all breaking the surface one after the other. I yell, "DOLPHINS!" And all the fishermen look at me like, "Yeah, honey, we see these every day."

So I run for an hour alongside a school of dolphins. I imagine they sense me there, pounding my sweat along the sand, spurring me forward with their easy glide through the water. Beyond cool. Totally rad. Once-in-a-lifetime.

new digs. well...sort of.

2008-11-18T18:56:00.003-05:00

This week, in prep for holiday decor and my hankering for a (albeit small) change, I switched our living space from this:

to THIS:

Just moved our egg chair to the corner, and upended another bookcase along the base of the window. Not too different, but I still can't decide if I like it this new (and slightly more assymetrical) way.

the advent of love

2008-11-18T17:55:00.003-05:00

Lots of happy things happened today. Here are two:

Our dear friend Kelly passed along an advent calendar, my very first. I stuck it on our fridge so we'll be sure to enjoy the yummy chocolates every day. However, I shall make no promises about not opening the entire thing up and eating it in one sitting (or two).

We had a fantastic time during dinner. See?

one foot in the frying pan, the other near the s-bend

2008-11-17T21:55:00.004-05:00

Lately Samuel has taken to spending playtime in the cupboards. He chews on curl-creating hair gunk and slings pots and pans about the kitchen.
And I love every minute.

to gush

2008-11-16T20:07:00.004-05:00

To gush:
1. to flow out or issue suddenly, copiously, or forcibly, as a fluid from confinement: Water gushed from the broken pipe.
2. to express oneself extravagantly or emotionally; talk effusively: She gushed with pride over her new grandchild.

This weekend was a bit taxing, in every way. At the end of it all, Sir Harri (as Adam shall be known hereafter, since he is my very own little bit of royalty), makes a trip to the grocery store. He pushes his feet into his brown shoes and says, "What can I get you for a treat? Lindt balls? (I know, I'm spoiled) Ben & Jerry's? Belgian Seashells?" "No," I say, "I don't know what I want. Don't worry about it."
Well, Sir Harri did. Know exactly what I wanted, when I had no clue. Here's my gush to hard weekends, my best friend, and LOTS of sour gushers.

old school baths in the REAL kitchen sink

2008-11-16T19:41:00.003-05:00

small thoughts of nostalgia

2008-11-14T19:11:00.003-05:00

Above's a photo of one of the coolest hubs in my hometown of Ithaca, the Ithaca Commons. Growing up, my mom was a religious reader of the Sunday edition of the New York Times. Since she's been abroad in Scotland serving a mission, she's reverted to the online edition. Today, she sent me this link about my one-of-a-kind, eclectically amazing hometown. Reading it definitely pulled some heartstrings. Love me, love I-town.

little green monster

2008-11-14T09:17:00.003-05:00

One of Samuel's favorite foods is broccoli. It is also one of the messiest foods he's taken to. This is him, at the close of eating dinner, sans a bib (I was just that lazy), and engaging in one of his most hilarious behaviors. (Yes: that is me laughing like a hyena in the background). If you watch carefully, toward the middle of the video Samuel will rub his hands together, mashing broccoli inbetween them, bow his head a little bit, and look a bit maniacal. He looks like he's just accomplished some mischevious plan and very pleased with himself. Enjoy. It's one of the cutest and funniest things you'll see all day.

for the love of ribbon

2008-11-12T07:54:00.004-05:00

Be it known that I have a thing for ribbon. At Christmas, my growing-up-next-door-best-friend's mom swaddled her entire house (it's since been bought, but that's it) in ribbon. And she (a regular shopper at this place) used the most beautiful ribbon-if designers made ribbon, hers was jimmy choo, chanel, and versace all rolled up. Since then, I've had a love affair with ribbon. This week I made some ornaments with some half-off ribbon I snagged at a local art store.

A few ribbon scraps and an old wreath from the thrift store yielded this...

...which I will refrain from actually displaying until November's done. (And I am mortified to admit that will take more than a little effort.)

would the REAL kitchen sink please stand up

2008-11-11T19:25:00.003-05:00

So, sometimes at the end of the day my kitchen looks like this:

And this:

And this:
And I take comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one.

happy day

2008-11-10T15:57:00.004-05:00

Fun things we do on Sammy's day:

1. Find him a popcorn walker at one of America's great toy stores. The Nice Lady at the checkout sends us away with a great huge "Happy Birthday" helium balloon and this nifty zippy paper crown. Thanks, Nice Lady.
2. Daddy fixes his popcorn toy to make it more usable, making a classic image I think should be a local paper headliner.

3. We eat peppermint cheescake, and revel in each other's company.

2008-11-10T15:14:00.004-05:00

Below are some videos of Samuel's birthday happenings. 1: Walking with his highchair, a daily occurrence. 2 & 3: Unwrapping an aweome gift from his Harrison grandparents. Enjoy. I sure do.

mmm, mmmm, good.

2008-11-09T19:32:00.005-05:00

I have got a major case of the ickies: sore throat, aches, runny nose, and an arthritis flare up to top it all off. I have finished two bags of the above (which are delightful even when healthy), not to mention two entire boxes of Chloraseptic lozenges. Can you tell I'm definitely going for symptom relief, since modern science still hasn't bungled a way through viral infections? More on Samuel's birthday and current artworks when I feel better. Until then, I'll be eating quite a lot of soup.

Note: although adding just a little bit of whole milk to Campbell's condensed lentil soup might SEEM like a good idea, it is, most assuredly, not.

a brief celebration

2008-11-04T23:19:00.006-05:00

Today is Samuel's birthday. We had a wee family partee to celebrate.

A teensy smattering of reasons why we ADORE you:

fuzzy wuzzy was a....? really?

2008-11-04T10:14:00.004-05:00

First: Go vote.
Second: Happy Birthday Samuel! (He gets his own post, of course).
Third: So Laundry is the bane of my existence. I say Laundry instead of laundry because, really, it should look like this: LAUNDRY.
This is why I hate laundry:
1. It's never done.
2. Since Samuel entered our laundry sphere, I use at least 1 container of Spray'N'Wash or whatever stain remover's for sale at Costco. This continuous sprayage wears out my hands and covers the surface of my washer with icky stickies.
3. It takes forever: which shows something is wrong with my system (read: I have none).
4. Folding? Really? WHY? Intel needs to market a laundry folder. After all, we've already got robotic vaccuums.
5. Our laundry has a tendency to sit in (albeit clean) piles on the laundry room floor, for, oh, my, quite a while (see numbers 3 and 4 above).

Last week I started our color loads; as of last night (right now, actually), my color load is sitting, accumulating dust, on the floor next to the dryer. Adam had thrown in a load of dirty rags. Whilst getting them from the dryer (to add to the pile on the floor), I noticed millions of small white fluffs billowing out of the dryer. It looked like our dryer had started producing fake snow, and it was blizzarding. These mysterious white fuzzy wuzzies came in small, large, miniscule, and ginormous chunks. Adam and I stood in wonderment, asking, "Hey, do you know what that is?" I knew it had to be something in Adam's load, though, and as I pulled the last rag out of the dryer I saw it:

a diaper.

Freshly washed, the form still intact...but the absorbent filling, well, all over our laundry room. Including the large pile of clean clothes. The worst part? I held up the diaper and noticed brown streaks on the outermost lining. Which means that, somehow, a poopy diaper (now a freshly washed poopy diaper) got into our laundry. And that makes Reason Number Six for Why I Hate LAUNDRY. Because fuzzy wuzzy wuz a diaper.

the elves of colonial williamsburg

2008-11-03T08:53:00.004-05:00

Now, I don't know about you, but ever since moving to Williamsburg, Adam and I (and all my girlfriends) have spent numerous hours walking around CW. I've noticed, during all those hours of walking and jogging and eating slices of apple spice cake (courtesy of Raleigh Tavern Bake House), that the entire place always looks spotless. Every day the roads and sidewalks are clean: no leaves, no trash, no horse poop. I thought, "Wow, with all the thousands of tourists that come through here each season, when do the staff find time to keep it so very orderly and clean?" Well, I got my answer this morning. During an early morning jog, I saw lots and lots of busy little elves cleaning the place up. Okay, fine, so they weren't really elves, only in the sense that most people never see the people (or elves, in this case) behind the clean, leaf-and-litter-and-poop-free streets. All the little neighborhoods were crawling with leaf blowers, bulldozers (getting up the poop), and unmarked white trucks doing whoknowswhat, zipping from here to there. So, I solved a bit of a mystery today. Which, in truth, is sort of a bummer; the beauty of Colonial Williamsburg evokes its own magic, one that used to be able to mysteriously keep itself spotless. Seeing the reality behind this little ancient cluster of houses and townspeople is a little bit sad; sometimes I wish reality would just take a hike. But perhaps I can learn to appreciate the busy little elves that keep up the appearance of a magical, self-cleaning piece of the world. We'll see.

paper whites

2008-10-27T20:56:00.002-04:00

Using cardstock, white acrylic paint, and paper doilies, I got a super jump start on my holiday gift and greeting cards. Can you tell I'm super excited for Christmas? I know, and it's not even Halloween. For shame. I even had Christmas carols playing while making these today(!) I'm so breaking my own rules about holiday celebration. But these are just too pretty to put off, don't you think?

playing telephone

2008-10-27T20:46:00.002-04:00

One of Samuel's favorite (and rare) pasttimes is to play with our phone. Enjoy the photos of his fun technological explorations.

Making a very important call.

Giving Momma a love.

tears are not enough

2008-10-27T10:30:00.005-04:00

A friend has died.

I have yet to use this venue as a communication of hard things, aspects of life that bring sorrow, confusion, and emptiness. However, I think it an appropriate way to pay tribute to a friend that passed away, a way for me to express how much he meant to the world.

Evan Wade died in a car accident in Ithaca, NY this past weekend. He was nearly done earning his Cornell degree and weeks away from getting married to the woman he adored.

Evan and I met in church our first Sunday of freshman year at Cornell. He was going into engineering. I was studying biology. We saw eachother across the classroom the following Tuesday in introductory Chemistry, the class we would both loathe over the next few months. So began our friendship. We started a study group, and we'd meet every Thursday night in the lobby of Baker Hall. Spreading our papers over the chipped brown particleboard table, we would painstakingly work together over our labs, problem sets, and class notes until late into the night. I always left first, leaving him there to keep the midnight study vigil. That table was where I saw him most: every day before class he was studying at that table; every day after class he would take up his chair and keep working; every Thursday night he'd be there before me and stay much later.

The hours spent at that ugly brown table symbolize one of Evan's most defining characteristics: his diligence, his determination to carry on and succeed, no matter how difficult the task at hand.

Like all freshmen, Evan lived on North Campus. Except his great musicianship earned him a spot at a specialty house, called "JAM", or "Just About Music". The tenor saxaphone is his instrument, though he was a gifted pianist. My mother remembers that he had a beautiful voice. He spoke often about new jazz artists he'd discovered and loved. Every week or so our Church branch got an email inviting all to yet another fantastic on-campus performance that Evan had found. For Evan, music was a part of his soul; he lived, breathed, worked with music all around him. Even during our late study sessions, Evan's hands and feet would tap out an unknown rhythm.

It's a funny thing how death brings out memories in sharp, clear focus.

Winters in New York are terrible. The world is all ice and gray. I remember one January morning, the start of the 'spring' semester, walking across the Thurston bridge to class. I fell in step beside Evan, who was dressed in his khaki ROTC uniform: no coat, no gloves, no scarf, only his uniform issue cap set at a jaunty angle on his head, his backpack hanging from his left hand. His nose was red with cold; he explained that, when in uniform, cadets were not supposed to carry their backpack on their backs or wear any additional attire. I saw others that day wearing the same uniform but wrapped warmly in coats and scarves. In his observation of the details of his rank, Evan demonstrated a beautiful obedience that day. His obedience carried him all the way to Finland to labor in love for two years. He truly observed both the letter and spirit of the law in his diligent obedience to things that matter.

After he left for Finland and I moved to Utah, I didn't see Evan for two more years. Then, one Sunday in the Williamsburg church building, I saw a familiar face sitting next to a wonderful woman who had lent me her sewing machine not two weeks previous. Evan and I spent the next hour catching up-he told me about his years in Finland, about a girl named Cassie who he was spending a lot of time with up at Cornell, how he would be done with school in just over a year.

I saw him again in February when I went up to NY for a vacation. And again months later in October, when he brought Cassie, now his fiancee, down to Williamsburg for a visit. Watching them together reminded me so much of Adam and I when we were first starting out; even though I'd known Cassie for years, I had never seen her be so happy as when she was with Evan. He brought out the sparkle in her, and seeing them both radiantly happy made me feel so glad. They were two souls in love.

Not two weeks after he went back to New York after that October visit, Evan died.

Adam sat me down after an errand run late this past Saturday night and said. His eyes were red and I wondered what was wrong. He says, "Evan Wade was driving this morning, he had an accident. Evan...Evan has died."

No words can express the horror of that moment, of all the moments that followed, that are still following. My heart breaks for his mother, his brothers, his sweetheart who adored him. Evan had so much love, he brought so many people to a higher level of kindness, of strength, that the word is reeling from his absence. I pray for all of us who loved him back so deeply that we will find peace, in time. That is what Evan would want. Take time to grieve, to feel angry, betrayed, hurt, and empty. Time will help pick us up and move forward, spreading love, happiness and cheer. Just like Evan did, and still does, as he watches over the world that misses him.

2008-10-25T10:28:00.005-04:00

Tuesday night was one for partying. Kelly and Trish hosted a Witch's Night Out, during which we ate amazing food and admired one another's decorated hats. Since I lamely forgot my camera, thanks to Elizabeth and Stacy for emailing these!

Kelly C.'s amazing socks!

My crazy face, complete with fantastic golden eyelashes. Rock on.

The three winners of the hat decorating competition: Leslie (center at 1st place), Hayley (2nd place), and me with my awesome door hanging pillow.

Stacy and I in our swanky hatties.

Leslie and Stacy celebrating after our team won charades. I had to act out Madonna getting buried alive in a kayak. Fun times. And props to my team for guessing correctly! (Admittedly, though, sticking my hands up my shirt and pointing my fingers to make the cone-bra shape was a dead giveaway.)

As evidence by this photo, Halloween parties are a venue for me to go all out in the makeup department. This year's fun splurge was a pair of gold eyelashes: WMart, $2. So worth it.

Leslie and I.

Beautiful witches who definitely need their own TV show. We could re-make "Bewitched" in a whole new way.

Kelly, Katy, and Hayley.

Thanks, EVERYONE! for a totally fulfilling evening of conversation, food, and laughs.

a walk through c-double u

2008-10-20T09:46:00.000-04:00

politics made humorous

2008-10-18T12:48:00.002-04:00

Some tongue-in-cheek humour, a nice relief from the usual intensity of pre-election politicking:

McCain 'underdog' joke at NY fundraising dinner

Obama 'who am i' joke at NY fundraising dinner

Enjoy.

sunday best

2008-10-17T18:00:00.004-04:00

On Sunday my boys looked so smashing in their white shirts I couldn't resist capturing the moment.

Samuel has a thing for Adam's ears. He wields the ear victoriously in the very last picture.....

tahanan aming karapatan

2008-10-17T17:30:00.002-04:00

Part of the BBC's "Day In Pictures", these children from a poor district of the Philippines' capital, Manila, parade to raise awareness of children's rights during United Nations Children's Month. Their earnest faces are so pure and show so much: doubt, hope, sorrow, trust. Let's not let them down: "tahanan aming karapatan" is "home our rights".

an inside day

2008-10-17T09:22:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was an inside day. Samuel and I had a glorious day; here are some of the things that happened:

I ironed Samuel's Sunday shirt (and one of Adam's too, for his interview in Tampa today).

Gently rinsed and dried Samuel's winter wardrobe.

Organized, labelled, and put away Samuel's old clothes (hooray for Costco diaper boxes).

Concocted a wonderful autumn aroma from an orange, lemon, apple, cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, and water. Thank you Amanda for this awesome idea. Stick it in your crock pot and turn on "High" with the lid off for a delicous olfactory sensation.

Celebrated with a friend when her boy ate the most EVER in one sitting.

Washed Samuel's carseat and hung to dry. Now it's ready to put away, ready to wait, ready to welcome the next new baby.

Got a bag of unnecessaries ready for the thrift store.

Cleaned out my 'purse' (read: childcare on wheels).

And, my personal favorite activity, took pictures of Samuel in his new Ikea playhat.

A truly successful day.

forward facing

2008-10-15T14:31:00.002-04:00

We're in the market for a forward-facing carseat. Specfically looking at the Evenflo Triumph Advance LX model--I'm wondering if any of my blogging buddies have an opinion re: this particular model OR a model you've been particularly happy with. Comments welcome!

free designer bag

2008-10-13T22:37:00.002-04:00

Go here to enter to win a free bag. The best part? It's free:)

ye olde towne square

2008-10-13T20:19:00.004-04:00

Last week, Elizabeth and I met up in Colonial Williamsburg's Merchants' Square. We had lovely conversation and period treats of cider, gingerbread cakes, and apple spice pie. We met up with Stacy and Olivia later on in the afternoon, and our babies had a great time rolling around the brick together.

Samuel loved playing with the giant ginko leaves littering the brickscape.

Samuel reaching for Ella outside the Raleigh Tavern bake shop (where said gingerbread cakes and cider originate).

Tuckered at the end of the day, chowing on a piece of Zwieback toast.

Elizabeth and Atticus, together the next day at the pumpkin farm. See below...

wee punkins

2008-10-13T18:00:00.005-04:00

Samuel, Elizabeth, Atticus, Olivia, and Ella and I went to the College Run Farms pumpkin patch last week. The weather was amazing, and Samuel loved the ferry ride over to Surry. We had a glorious time, wading through the punkin' vines choosing the beauties that adorn our front stoops until old man winter arrives. Full moons, fairytales, and pie in the sky pumpkins were some that came home with us.
Olivia and her little Ella.

Atticus did a geat job entertaining Samuel.

He loved drumming on the pumpkins.

My favorite.

sugar and spice, and everything nice

2008-10-08T22:32:00.003-04:00

Today, as a special treat in return for a very small favor, my lovely friend Sarah handed me a white paper bag with 'Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory' inscripted on the front. I felt the shape and weight of the bag and gasped, "Is this a....?" She nodded, "Yep," she says, her big beautiful Abigail lounging beautifully on her hip, "It's a caramel apple." Her older girls smile shyly, clustering around her like petals on a new spring flower.

After a long day, this whole evening I've delighted in the warm ooze of caramel, still-soft white chocolate and layers of cinnamon wrapped smoothly around a freshly tart Granny Smith. Never have sour old grannies tasted so perfect.

As I left Sarah's house, her son Brayden came rolling down the stairs, nearly hitting his head on the front door: a bit of snips, and snails, and puppydog tails make their home complete.

And thank you, Sarah, for making my day complete.

curl up and dye

2008-10-07T22:06:00.003-04:00

Today, I dyed my hair. I used Clairol's "Natural Instincts" No. 10, Dark Ash Blonde. The goal was to blend the very blonde twelve inches at the bottom of my hair with the rather darker ten inches at the top. So I applied the dye on the blonde hair, and let it sit for twenty minutes. I rinsed it out, deep conditioned, and let it dry.

It looked exactly the same. Isn't that crazy? Needless to say, I think my hair's sending me a message to leave it alone.

the quick Queen of Quincy and her quacking quacker-oo

2008-10-06T22:49:00.005-04:00

Samuel's new favorite book is Dr. Seuss' "ABC". We read it every day. Yesterday, in between Conference sessions, Adam snapped a few shots of us reading together. It's such cuddly fun.

Big S, little s. What begins with S? Sammy's sippin' soda pop. S...s...S

My personal favorite: the Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz, as you can plainly see!

historic triangle

2008-10-06T21:42:00.002-04:00

This past month, some friends Hayley and Stacy and I took a few trips to Jamestown and Yorktown, part of our nation's 'Historic Triangle'. I borrowed the pictures from Stacy's blog--thanks, Stacy!

Hayley, Emi, me and Samuel in Jamestown right before it started pouring.

Luke and Samuel chilling on the grass. Samuel looks so funny, like he's doing the cha cha or some silly dance. "Come on, Luke, let's groove!"

Sammy and I outside "Stars and Stripes" in Yorktown, the only place that a)sells American flag baseball hats entirely covered in sequins and b)"McCain '08" T-shirts are the only ones around. Yeee-haw. But we're having a beautiful time, my baby and I.

Stacy and Luke by the fountain in Yorktown.

won't you be my neighbor?

2008-10-03T14:42:00.002-04:00

Probably not, since these have been hanging over our apartment complex's entrance for at least two weeks now. These sneakers can mean a few things: a)crack's for sale, b) gangs are alive and well around my corner, c) someone's been murdered here in the last few months, or d) kids are just plain mean to eachother, although these look like grown men's shoes to me. So, I wouldn't blame you if you don't want to be my neighbor. I don't know if I want to be my neighbor either, as a matter of fact...